there is no higher place more than sky ,
there is no beautiful thing more flower ,
there is no better word more than love ,
there is no dear one for me more than U ,
so :

I LOVE U "my dear flower on the sky"

time is very slow for those who wait

very fast for those who are scared

very long for those who lament

very short for those who celebrate

But

for those who love ,time is eternity

William Shakespear

bestrider

that doesn't matter what happens , I LOVE U "bestrider" this is the word that i,ll call u ^^
i will do sports everyday , i will make musics everyday , i will do what i need to love u more and more :) i hope one day u will love me too and i,m waiting to see that !

why i love my friends when i,m worthless for them ? why i help them everywhere even when i have no time ? even in wow (game) why when somebody ask me plz help me why i go and help him/her ? why i love people on the net when they are just words and letters ? i think i,m kind person , but why ? why i dont use bad words like fuck,suck,... ? why i love somebody when she even doesnt tell me her name ? how i love these ? this is cyber world they are just letters ,how i loveing them ? its really easy to tell" i love u " to a person in cyber world and then tell him i hate u , i dont like u ! is that really important ? is there anybody that really like me ? i dont think so .
so why i,m still here ? why i play game ? is that for items ? is that for tier 6 ,7,8,.. ? no i ,m not here to get just few items !
there is no the word by the meaning of the love for me in this world , there is no real friends for me!
i really glad that i never felt love befor . this is my first love and last love i think,
as she said me about my friend ,i must know why she dont love me ? whats the reason of that ? at least i will know what she think about me maybe ! how she is in my heart but she even dont trust me , anything ! maybe i ,m just so kind that i love her . maybe i just love my own mind (thinks) BTW there is nobody like that i made for myself :(
i tell again that i will do what i can to be in her heart ! i,ll find where she live because i dont want to lose her even if she dont like me :(

today i was going boxing class .i was walking on the streets while raining and thinking about myself and i discovered something : i,m so flexible person
i like all kind of music(rock,rap ,country,old musics,new musics) , i like all kind of music instruments , i like most sports , i like so different things ,
i like opposite things , i like hell i like heaven (i believe them in this world not in other world).
i like angels i like devils, i like humans but i like animals, sometimes i cant even kill a little fly or spider but sometimes i think i can kill even peoples .
i,m so flexible person. i think i can be the kindest person in the world or maybe i can be the most bad person in that . its up to peoples around me because they can do good effect on me so i can be good one or if something bad happens to me i can be bad one :|
i cant continue the something that i,m doing so much , cos i boring so fast , so i search something new in my life , i cant stay in one place and live there because its boring to me,
but i know there is no many persons that like or love me , maybe just as a family ,
even U don't like me , i have too many friends on the net , in the game ,messengers , or real life , but i know i,m good for them while they need me ,
nobody really like me as a real friend .
that's not my fault that i learn everything so fast as others in the beginning of that things ,but after a while that's boring for me and everybody think i not good in that lessons.
what i must do ? what i must to do to find my real friends ?what i must to do that U love me too ? yea i think nobody will love because i,m more than a normal person and less than a perfect person. if i was normal i could do everything normally & if i was perfect one i could do everything perfectly , but i,m special .i,m alone in this world , i love everything and i hate them too . maybe this is the reason that nobody really like me .sometimes i think like a child , but sometimes i,m like the 200 years old man !
this is good reason that u don't like me .
i wrote these things today but perhaps i don't believe them myself ,
let's stop talking like an old radio ,who will help me to find my way ? i thought u are the person that u can help me cos i found someone to love , but now i know i,m not the person that someone can love me . i know if i was instead u i don't love deviltabriz too .

but i will try my best again to love me ! that's why i told i,m flexible , i,m hopeful when i,m hopeless .

11 hours ago she was online , i can see this on homepage that say last online 11 hours ago :|
but why she didn't answer my posts ?
i just need to wait .

reason

Do u know whats the reason that i,m still alive ? cant u guess ? no ? hmm...
It's U !

sometimes i wish i had a garden to tear apart .
frasturated .
i,m not lost anymore.
same way anything lost gets find.
i stopped looking.


need t think about these sentences , MR lock said them on movie ;) "lost"

thinking is good but dont think too much when its make u feel bad about something .

today was so bad day to my friend , his name is taher we were class m8 but he is my just friend,
he loved a girl about 3 years ago , but he didn't talk about her much , we talked together 20 min ago .he is so sad , cos his friend getting marry today , he tried to kill himself few times , last time he did this, is about 1 week ago that his mother saw him and fall down , she was sick about 1 or 2 days in hospital :( i think taher needs help cos his love got marry :( . he cant do anything becouse he wanna see her happiness , we will go outtside 1 hour later i hope i can help him a little to feel better.
now i know why i wasn't feel good whole day . perhaps that was becouse of my friend .
what a worthless world we have :( why we live ?

nothing !

i have nothing to say today , Let's think about nothing ! yea that's a good way to be relax :)
ok but maybe i need some exciting things , i really dont know what to do :)i have an idea hmm how's this idea ? fix my bicycle and start travel around our city or other cities near that?but i have no friend to go with him, i should go alone .it's ok i have nothing to do here dont care about anything !

lol i writing new post every 20 mins ! i need sleep :)) but lets tell somthing else :
i told that: why she didnt send me even a little massage to know her friend is alive or not , but i dont think she doing this , as i said previous post i think she is with my as other person most of times :) i dont want tell name but i know she is smart one ,it must be important for she about friends specially who said I love U . i will not think about myself why she dont want me or some other stupid things like this anymore :) cos I am Savalan . Savalan feeling love :P ! lol i need sleep xD

same idea again like 2 week ago :| can it possible ? does she playing with me ? she want me to think she is another person to know me more and more :) ? there is 2 person from sweden ! girl! they never online fridays or saterdays :D i dont remember exactly :P . they have little brother , they are paying wow , ... ooh dont know :D maybe i shouldent know this , hehe ! lets think they are different person that have some same acts :)

2 hours ago i got out of home and ran about 15 minutes around our street to do some sport and think , why i dont feeling all right ? why i,m like stupid person that dont know what to do ? why i,m like that these last mounths ? i,m the person that anything didnt matter for me in this world i was free from all things in world , i was Savalan ! but i think i,m not doing well like savalan , yea thats my name but i,m not like that why ? i cant continue this way , yes lets be like Savalan ! lets be free , dont care about anything in world , everything will be all right until Savalan is alive !
do u think i,m crazy ? no i,m not ;) i,m trying to be different of other peoples all around the world , they are like sheeps , they wanna be safe , hot place , well foods everyday , wear well ... yes thats not bad to have place for sleep everyday , have food when u wanna eat always , never feel cold . but this is not reason that we are alive , cos animals like them too ! there must be different thing between us and animals . no i dont mean god , believe me ;) i didnt find that yet , but i will find something worth , ah no maybe i found one !!! thats you , you are most important person that i wanna be with ,
I am Savalan ! i love U ! i have great family in the world , is this not enough ? maybe yes maybe not ;) but : I Love U !

ahh i forgot to tell u whats happened today :D
me and my father was kidding and wrestling today before evening at about 2 o'clock
when i got his hand suddenly i hit him from his neck on the ground , aah that was mistake . now he cant move his neck because of me :( he feeling so pain . wow i,m so sad and so happy . sad because that job i did and happy because his neck didnt break :O i dont wanna think about that what happen if that was breaken ooooh nooo :D anyway he will be all right after 5 6 days i think ,
i love you dad ^^

after about 10 days she was online about 5 sec , that i couldent catch her in skype ! she did online on skype about 5 min that i did ALT+tap to write " hiiiiiii " then she disconnected !
why she dont want to send a little massage to see i,m alive or not :| ? ok lets think she dont feel any thing like love but she said you are my best friend then why she dont ask me" hi how r u its about 10 days that we didnt talk together r u all right ;) ? i couldnt be online for this or that reasons ... "? yea its so easy to click on compose and write a little stupid massage for me, anyway she have problem maybe , maybe that button are disable on her computer :) i will be alive with my dreams for ever . i dont want to send massage cos i wanna test her
i will try to write something like book or.. " the girl that i loved her for ever "
I Love U

am I worthless for her ?

its about 6 days that she didnt send massage to me , what is this mean ?
is this mean i,m worthless even if she like me as friend why she dont ask me that i,m alive or not :| ? because real friends some times wanna talk together ! i dont know what i say , its gonna be a big trouble for me , i think i will be alone forever if she dont like me :(

look around of you

look around you, take a good look ,just between you and me, are you sure this is place that u want to be ?
these are your friends , but are they real friend ? do they love you as much as you ? are you sure this is where u want to be ?i have hope i wouldn't cry !
look around you ,take a good look , are you sure u are who u want ? ...

psychology

i,ll try psychology way :P maybe u will understand that later xD
i cant tell u here , until see that if it works :P
u know I Love U ^^