if somebody knows ... he knows ;)

if somebody doesn't know ... he will know !

that i love you bestrider !



xD

bro's burial

well , some times i can't loging in blog :/ something block it i thing ,anyway .

yesterday my uncle died finally , he had concern for few months , today we will go to burial stuff :) ,

my dad was sad these months , it was hard to see his brother's pain everyday ,

i'm glad that i haven't seen my uncle after his sickness , now i just remember him as a healthy person that i seen before , that now gone .



sometimes i use this " :) " its smiling yea but sometimes its because i'm sad a bit xD
you laugh when you are sad , or you cry when you are happy , hehe , think no one knows when i'm really happy and when i'm sad easily if he reads this blog :) , i think its hard to know my real feeling sometimes :) ,
there is just one important feeling that i want every single one in world to know that :
I LOVE YOU BESTRIDER !


well i don't know what changed between me and you bestrider, but you don't talk and play wow with me like ago . i see this :) , well this will not change anything ^^ i love you my dear bestrider :P

weakness

i'm so weak these days,
i'm like a defenseless baby , that wouldn't able to do anything ...
i getting mad with music, getting sad with sad musics ,
i can't control myself anymore ,
i feel like cripple person :(

please talk to me bestrider ,

i'm just 20 year old boy but i fell like 800 year old man that tired of life :(
right now i wanna cry :( .
fuck me , fuck me ...

i should haven't told you that i love you :( so you would talk with me now !

its damn hard, i'm tired of everything , :( its my first time that i tell this : i really don't wanna live anymore like this :(

please talk to me bestrider .


i can't understand , but i wanna do , why all these happening to me ,
i was a lonely boy before meet you ,
i understood how to love :( how to be happy , how to live ... i learned so many
things of you , i was living in black and white life , you came and make it color !
now i can't return to black and white anymore :(
but now after all these , you don't want to talk with me because i love you :(


please talk to me bestrider
please talk to me bestrider
please talk to me bestrider
please talk to me bestrider
please talk to me bestrider
please talk to me bestrider
please talk to me bestrider

till i die !

ok , i will prepare to go sweden in few years,
and hope you will understand love soon ,

but maybe you will not let me to meet you , maybe you will not care that i left everything just for you ,
maybe you will not understand love either ,

but at least i will tell to myself i did what i had to do , and i fought til the end ... i will tell to myself i won ! because i did my best , and was not a cowered ,




it's just my imagine power of my mind :) that makes troubles for me lol
i should not think about bad things , i should not think about separating apart ,leaving , die ... and such as these things .
i should think about love, being together for ever, life, happiness ...


i think i know what love is , its you bestrider :) , its the thing that i feel it when i'm talking with you , its the thing that i should never get mad at you , it doesn't matter what ya did or do , its matter that i love you , and i will till i die!

Open your eyes

well , i think i can't forget you :) , listening the musics that you have send them to me before ,
crush and burn ,curly sue , even angels fall ...


It's a secret no one tells;
One day it's heaven, one day it's hell.
It's no fairy tale
Take it from me,
That's the way it's supposed to be.
You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.
You laugh, you cry, no one knows why
Behold the thrill of it all...
You're on the ride
You might as well
Open your eyes

Sometimes it stops,
Sometimes it flows,
But baby that is how love goes.



:) , well , maybe you didn't talk with me for long time . maybe you hurt me sometimes ,
maybe i'll get mad and sad again , and so many other things that i can't guess or remember ,
but i will fight til i die for you .
i love you bestrider ^^ lol i should say : I wouldn't survive without you ,
without your musics that you sent me :)

try to enjoy your life !

hiiiiii haaaaaaaa ! lol
I love this game !
just installed guitar her and played it today xD
its soooooo coooooooool lol
i was a bit sad today , but now i'm rock ! muhahahah .

well it seems i writing in this blog again xD
nobody is around to read this but i will continue to my writings ^^ .


hmm , wonder what ya think now or what ya doing now :) i can't be mad at someone more than few hours or at least few days ^^ ,

when i left wow and my shit funny friends on that game ;) few days ago i decided to don't leave university and don't think about ya anymore lol , cos thought maybe you are really proud person bestrider :P

well , i will not back wow for long time at least maybe 1 month maybe more ,
but i still have 3 days to change my decide about university lol ,
i know you will not even send any mail , you will forget me so easy , cos you don't care anyone else except yourself lol
but i still love you :P don't know why xD ,
how i love someone that doing these things !
anyway at least i think i will get a time from university for 1 term , and it will be good time for me to prepare myself for anything in my life :)

got a good idea from watching a movie about a woman that were dieing in 3 or 4 weeks ,and she haven't care anything else in her remained life ... :

if someone tell you will die in 1 month xD what you will do ?

well my answers :
the first thing that i'll do : is coming sweden to see ya lol , befor i die xD
second : i will try to enjoy my life , and i will do anything for that ^^ .
1)i will jump from airplane ! 2) i will robbery some dangerous places lol with toy guns :P then will give back money that i got from em lol !
3) will eat any delicious food in world xD 4) i will kiss the most beautifull girl on the world :P you know who i mean haha !
5) then i will think again what else i can do befor i die lol

6) after that i done all my things , suddenly i will remember that i will live for 910 year old lol how i can die befor my time xD who the hell was that person that told me i will die and made some great days in my life ! lol

so now i want to enjoy my life ! i don't wanna get depress !
just 3 days ! hehe , will change my life ,

Love you bestrider

well , this weblog come to the end i think :)
hope i fell to write on it later ! lol




Love you bestrider ,

just wait for the day when you will look at my eyes in front of you !


well , i became MR lonely again lol ,
bestrider bestrider bestrider bestrider

please just don't destroy me :)

today , my father take me to his friend that study in turkey for phd or something i think ,
we talked about living ,working and studying in sweden or other European countries ,
he told me so many things that he knew ,
its so long that i can't write them here ,

well , not sure what to do now , but i think i just gonna continue my university ,cos you really hate me i think , you don't understand me bestrider ,
as i said always i will love you forever bestrider ,but i will not be same person,
i will try to use to be alone again :)
why i should leave my everything because of someone that don't even care for chat with me lol .
but its not your fault i know , i dont blame you , you just borne in rich country like sweden ,
you never fall in pain like Asian people or African , you never felt love maybe , you never worried about world, about other people , about anything else yourself ... ,

i will study my lessons ,i will try to be a professional in some jobs , it will take 6 years at least to done both university and military service but its nothing for me , when there is nothing out of my country ,
there is no one that cares for me there ,
but i think i will come sweden after 6 years , just because i promised for myself to meet you , but not as a same savalan that loves to fallow you always :) ,
this is a mad world that we live in it ,

i'm just glory to myself that i love someone ^^ , without knowledge her name,or face,body,family ...


i think that i will not love anyone after this :) ,
well world revolve , sometimes down it up and up is down in this world :)
i will never tell these to you on chats ,cos i don't want you to hurt , but i just wish you fall in love with someone that don't cares for you ... hope you'll love him more than yourself if ya can ,but he'll feel even less than a real friend for you ^^ ,
this is the most terrible thing that i can wish for you , cos i never want to hurt you :)
just want you to feel same that i felt for you ^^ .


well i have 5 days left to decide completly ,
to choos my lessons and study university for 6 years
or just leave it and come looking for my love bestrider in 2 years (after military) ^^
this is just up to you now , if i see you have heart i will do second ,
...


please just don't destroy me :) ,

i'm so mad !

i just hope you won't make a pathetic and crazy person of me,
that likes to destroy anything ,
bad guys in world never were bad when they born , they always become pathetic and bad because of people around them , because of their relations , they never have those problems at beginning ,


usually i'm full of hope , and kind , and like to help people , but i know that i can harm anyone if they harm me .
its like this simple sentence : " i'm not killer and i never like to kill anything even a fly , but i can kill ! " .

i will love you always , if you love me or not , but i will not be same person with same kind sense .

maybe i will just join army ,( the thing that i always hated from wars )

or will be some political one (that i hate it also)







i'm just mad now , maybe that's why i say stupid things like this lol ,

wanna tear apart everything , when you don't talk with me :S

ok :) waited few hours , you still didnt come on .

i'm thinking and just discovered something .

i want to come sweden just because of you , i still want to do it but i think my chance is below 1% that you may love me :)
because if you don't like me you will not love me later i think .
i loved you so fast ,
i can't want you to feel same ...
you are most similar person to me that i ever talked , but maybe there is some differences ,
you don't want to love anyone , not sure why , maybe you just think you have ugly face because of your accident few years ago , or some other problems that i still don't know . but i'm sure that you don't want to love .
if i come sweden and you still were same like now , that dont want me to be around like now .
what i will do ? will i say ok bye bestrider i going to iran again !?? no way hehe .
i gonna do military service and leave university because of you ! so what i will do if you just tell me : " i don't want you to fallow me always !" or " don't whisper me anymore in anachronos ,els ei will ignor you !" as you said it befor also .
you even don't want me to whisper !
even real friend never say it to each other :( .
you really hate me ,
you hurt me always ,
you confuse me always ,
why you just don't understand that i really love you :( .

these are the things that always i thinking about them .
i want to come sweden , beside of you , to study or work there ! to live there, because of you ,
while you say don't whisper me :) .
i still wonderd that how you told that to me .


there is something important that i still don't know about you !


anyway i just have 1 week to decide :
to leave all i have here and go military service then looking for you in sweden ,

or just leave wow and all other online friends . and be alone like i used to it ,


because i can't hold this anymore , i'm just destroying myselfe , with doing nothing . with tousends thoughts , i'm always upset .
when you talk with me , i become relaxe and feel so good ,
and when you suddenly going off for few days , and play in that fucked realm , and don't talk with me
i just going crazy like now . and i want to tear apart everything , i want to destroy everything ,

just wanna be alone forever ... if you don't want me

well its 14 feb . valentine day , hehe you even have not come online on skype or skullcrasher realm these 3 days , today you are playing on anachronus again and last time i check you got lv 33 :) ,
i was to sad and upset today , have'nt go unicersity to leave ,
but my friend told me that i still have 1 more week to decide for that , (next saturday )


i'm so confused, sometimes i want even to cry like a child lol , you even don't care for me as a friend :) , or you dont want to do it or show it ,

all my friends try to help me as they think is good , except you ^^ hehe ,
i think i would hate you sometimes if i haven't love you :P
but i'll never hate you , you hurt me with this things, you hurt me when you dont talk with me for few days without say me that you wont come online ,
no body hurted me like this befor in my life , but i know you don't want to do this , you just dont care about me , that's all ,
i know you are the kindest person that i ever seen ,
i'd like you to come online at least on skype for chat , but i can't do anything for this , cos you dont want it ...
yea its all my fault that loved someone , i should remain as a lonly monster hehe ,
now can't do anything about that , cos i loved and cant come against that ,there is nothing that can change my thoughts ... ,

i'd like to talk with you , i'd like to play games with you like months ago , but you dont like me anymore because i told you i love you bestrider ... :)
well don't know what should i do what should i say ,
don't want anyone around me , just wanna be alone forever ... if you don't want me

that's what i wanted to say now :) gonna be online on wow and skype again , with hope that you will come on and talk with me .

tomorrow is the day that my future will change ...

tomorrow is a important day for me . its time that i gonna leave university .
its Friday now and you playing in anachronos realm you got 31 :) i wanted to say gratz , but i promised you that i will not whisper you there . you have not talk with me yesterday and today even in skype :) ,
i feel aggressive now hehe, watched "max payne" movie , (its more like max pain ) ,
so i know i will not be able to play wow , i will not be able to talk with you even on skype after this ,
because i going military service soon maybe just few months later ,i dont know .
i just hope you wont forget me , i doing these to come sweden few years later just to meet you . maybe 2 or 3 years later .
i wanna be a soldier now , i wanna be a man , its time ... i want everything that i want !
tomorrow is the day that my future changes ...
loved you , and will love you forever bestrider :) i'll do anything for you to love me . anything that you want ,

So me know dem cah hold weh !

i was out with my friend , we talked about so many things ,
anyway its so long , i dont wanna say about what we talked ...
but when i was coming home i realized something about myself ...

since i was child i always was a bit forward than my other friends in everything...
i learned music or dance faster than em without practice, i learned games without practice , i discovered things about god,prophet and others even before our 50 year old teachers lol , i traveled with people older than me always like my sister and her friends while my own friends even haven't knew anything about travel ! always discovered things before people even older than me , i learned sports before em ! english,math,... and so many other things .

and the most interested thing is : i never tried to do anything like that , i never practiced a lot , i never tried to do things better than others .

so lets thing if i move my ass :/ and start to trying to do things again , try to learn new things, practice things and ... what i will not able to do then !?

since now , i will not play game at morning , i will forbid it for myself , i will play only after 6pm untile i sleep ...
its still a lot but , its good for starting other things .
i will try to get up at 9 AM at morning instead of 11 or 12 xD ,
i wanna do brain gym xD will solve things like sudoko ... to repair myself ^^ .
will start sporting again .
will practice my english ,music, specially computer programming ,and macromedia flash ,
these things will be my hobby , not like lessons that you need to study in school by force ...

i dont doing anything special , i just try to change my hobby from gamming to other things ...

only the life lived for others is worth living !

i need to not be silly , its 2 days that i feel better , well the same thoughts that made me feel better when i remembered them .
there is some works that i need to do them , if you love me or not :)
i need to learn a good profession that i like , i need to learn some new languages , i need to learn to earn money fast and easy , i need to learn new things, i need to learn love :)
i need earth ! lol ,
i watched few movies these day , they all were about lonly man,robot... that fell in love and
discovers that there is something more than being alone in world,
ghost town , Wall-E ,Madagascar 2 ,
there is too many things that i can tell about this movies,
i learned so many things i think , i gonna watch em again :) .

there was a picture from Albert Einstein that says : only the life lived for others is worth living !

this is so nice sentence i think ,

ok, will talk more later :)

why you don't want to show your love !?

if someone persevere few times that loves me , i start to believe him !
but why you dont believe me ! i'm persevering for 1 year ! i'm doing this while i dont know name , don't know your family' your address and anything else ! but i know you !
/yell : what should i do ! whaaaat !
you like me to feel pain ?
you really don't feel anything for anyone around you ? how someone like you can't love anyone !? how ? its impossible ! i know you don't want to show it ! you have no heart of stone ! i believe this !
you are so kind with perfect imotions ! there should be something such as a problem for you that you think you should not love someone ... ! whats that !!!!!???????????
i know you are not cowered , even you are stronger than me !
why you want to be alone ? why you want me to be alone ?
why ya just dont tell me , why you don't want to love anyone ?
why you dont want to give me a chance to understand you ?
why ?why ? why ?

Hey gal mi love ya

be there for someone

the first thing that i learned from you , when i met you in stranglethorn vally in wow was :
to be good even with enemies . the first thing we did was playing with alliances while they were our enemies . i learned that they were people just like , they atack us because they afraid that we kill em . this is not just for games . even in real wars , soldiers cut other sides soldiers because they afraid of each other ...
i learned to love , i learned that life has so much worth to live it ,
today i read some of our chat history on skype , when i used it for first time to talk with you , and you called me with it :) it was so nice days , i think those days was just some of my best days of life after know you .
then you sentences catch my notice to them , that you said there :
[6/29/2008 3:20:44 AM] karugon1 says: well good thing that u want to help your friend to be alone is the worst pain
[6/29/2008 3:22:42 AM] karugon1 says: even so just to be there for someone is a goood thing

lol there is so much fun that we lived it :) when i told you jag alskar dig for first time in microphone , lol it was so hard , i never had told anyone i love you befor that xD .
it was my first sentence about love i think lol that i speaked it in swedish xD
i never thought i would love someone befor meet you ^^ , i always liked to be alone , never liked parties , never liked places that are full of people , like streets ,shops , i liked quiet places most of times .

now i just dont understand how someone like you that always loved people ,to help em , to give em hope,( or maybe i just need to say love teacher !) , doesnt want to love , dont understand why you want to be alone . everyone needs to be alone sometimes, but you dont want me to love you , to fallow you, to be around you anymore ... why ? what i did, that hurts you ? what whould'nt i do for you ?

anyway as i say always : i love you bestrider

she knows ! my sister knows xD

yesterday my sister arrived home from tehran capital city of iran , she study there ...
finally today she asked , do you love someone lol ? do you have girl friend !?
and finally i told her yes ! i love bestrider , thats why i want to go sweden .
she said xD yea i guessed a bit that you love someone that's why you act like these... these days .
when i said that i never seen bestrider's picture and still dont know her real name, she didnt say anything , i think she understand me , that name and face is not important for me ... i love bestrider. she is first one that didnt say anything ,that how you love her, how,why,what lol ...
because she loves her boyfriend , because she understand love , she is in love with him , that's why she understand me i think :)
and yea ! she is my sister lol that's why she guessed that i'm in love xD she is like me , she guess things faster than other people sometimes . she knows things befor other people .

unusual beautifull mistake of world

i'm sticking between air and earth . i cant fly and i cant downfall and crash also :|
i planning all my things for you , to go sweden , to study in sweden , to leave my university , to go military service 2 years with most bad conditions, i'm planning everything around you to meet you , to reach you , to love you ...
but still dont know what you feel against me . you even dont trust me even to tell your name,
it's not really problem for me , but i want to do everything for you ,
you usually have come online weeks ago on skype , but these days you dont come on anymore , even when we are playing wow ...
not sure , but maybe you pissed of me again . i acted like child i know , but it was with reason , you know it ...
i need your trust , i need you to believe my love against you .
i want to planning my future with you , i want to make it for first one in my life ,
i want to escape this country with all good and bad things here because of you .
i want to leave my friends, my family , or anything else that i have here , just for you ,
i want to be what you like .
i dont want to die for you ! i want to live for you !
i want you to understand my love against you . there is no one that loves you more than me ,
i want to be a man , not child anymore that crying and begging for someone to be loved byt you .
i believe myself , i know i can do anything in this world . i just need you ! not anything else . i want your trust .
do you think that i will harm you !?
yesterday francesca (orchid ) told me so beautifull sentences :) she is my bestfriend .
maybe you think its not usual that 1 person in one side of this planet loves other person in other planet , but lets be an unusual beautifull mistake of world ^^ <-------
when i talking with you i feel flying ,
its like butterflys in my stomack... when you online and talking with me ,
i need you to know you harm me if ya dont love me , i need you to know how badly i love you bestrider.

ended awful

i watched "Donnie darko " movie that gabor copied it long ago in my hard ...
it was so nice movie , but at end , girl died and then Donnie got back to time and died there :( so girl wouldn't able to know Donnie , because he died before they meet each other :S
i just deleted movie , hated the end part of movie .
never like the movies that ends awful :(

you are my heart, you are my soul :)

finally i re charged my internet account today, i ran half of the way to company from home , and took taxi xD because i saw you was online on skype , so i was in hurry , like someone that running from a murderer that wants to kill me lol ,
and finally i talked with you again , i thought that you will get mad at me , and you will not talk with me :) but you talked with me like nothing important happened , this was damn good ,
yea i believe it that i'm a monster that lives middle of jungle of monkeys , like a shrek ...
i'm lonely ,but i'm special , just need some helps sometimes :) ,
ok its gonna be stupid sentences again xD

i'm really lucky monster like shrek ^^ , that found a princes like you .
i love you

be brave and say your love !

i just read few pages of paulo coelho's book "o diarop de um mago" is the orginal name of his book .
i have read this befor but never completed this book , its about love and somethings like that lol
on these pages that i read few min ago , i understood that i would be brave , and say my love ^^ ,
on this story they talk about eros, philos and agape and other kind of loves :) ,
i know if i really want you , all world, earth .. will help me for that xD
i should not wait for you ,
past is past , what i did or what you did is not important , what we will do is important now lol !!

today i will come online if i see you are online ^^ . but dont know what to say xD , doesnt matter , words will come by their own from our minds lol






/yell: i love you bestrider rrrrrrrrrrrrr xD

I cant wait ! hurry bestrider ! ^^

lol ,i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait !vi cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! i cant wait ! lol hurryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
hurry yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

xD
should i send mail or come online lol ?????????????
i cant wait :S ................................................................
what the fuck i did ! why i got mad ,
ok you didnt want to play with me , damn how i'm sure about this ! yes everything shows that but ! i'm still not sure :/ , i dont wanna accept it and i will fight for you !

i'm getting mad,sad,or feel fun some times in 1 day ! so how i want you to be good all day and stay with me all momenst :S sometimes i bored from myelf how i want you to keep smiling to me when i cant do it to myself :/
yes i never can be bored from you , i never wanna lose you , but i should not want you to feel same about me , i know i'm not as good as you :) you are great for me but i not worth for you ...

i blame myself for all these things, you dont have any fault , you just doing things that you think its true :) , it's my fault that i feel love so fast inside of me , "..........." <-----deleted :S


at least i will not get crazy soon lol , while i writing here xD , i write every single thoughts that i have in my mind all days !
and i know if someone reads these, he will think i'm crazy xD but i dont care ! like you lol i need to learn to dont care anyone else you !


plz send me a mail and tell me what you want lol , tell me fuck you deviltabriz xD or tell me i'm sorry i didnt mean to .. lol or i love you :P or say what ya really want , just send a mail mail mail mail mail mail mail mail mail mail mail mail mail mail mail mail mail mail mail
other wise i will send you mail xD and i still dont know what will happen then lol or i will come online , but really dont want to do these :)
i want to do something that you would like , dont wanna make another shit lol

waiting waiting and waiting ...

what are you doing now ?
who are you talking with ?
who are you playing with ?
what are you thinking now ?
want to know all these things pleaseeeeeeeee ...

i'm tired of listening to musics whole day and being sad , and thinking that if i did right thing ... i repeating last days in my head over and over again . i'm tired of refreshing my youtube mail pages... i'm tired of everything , i'm tired of waiting ... do you really forget me easily like this ?

i do just remember the moment that i was playing with you with my priest and you haven't knew that its me, and you just sent massage on skype that you going off for few hours :( that was like a knife between my chest ... you even didnt want to talk to me , you were playing wow !
why ? i'm not bad person :( just sometimes i act like a child when i get mad . i was upset that days . you even didnt want to come on skype :( and i was watching you all time in anachronos that damn shit realm !

i need someone to tell me , why i'm deserve to be like this :( .
tomorrow my internet account will be expired , i dont wanna even recharge it , if you dont want to talk me anymore .
there will no deviltabriz anymore on internet . i will not write on blog ,i will not play wow, i will not chat with anyone .
now i don't know what should i do , if even you are real friend you should send your mail that you are so mad and angry to me ... :)
as i said i just waiting for your mail , it doesnt atter what you will write in there .
i think you know that i just leave university to go milatery service to get passport and come sweden :( , for someone that even doesnt like to talk with me :( , but it doesnt matter .
you can yell at me and shoot me out through door :) and i will return through window !
you are important for me than anything else in my life , i will never give it up .
even if i become terrorist,scholar,dancer,robber,diplomat, or nothing !



i will come sweden for you ! i will come sweden for you !i will come sweden for you ! i will come sweden for you !i will come sweden for you ! i will come sweden for you !i will come sweden for you ! i will come sweden for you !i will come sweden for you ! i will come sweden for you !i will come sweden for you ! i will come sweden for you !i will come sweden for you ! i will come sweden for you !

i learnt so many things about myself ,world ... i learnt to love a person , i learnt that there is nothing important than love in world ,i learnt life without love is like a fish without water...
please help me bestrider ,my friends say me dont beg for love :( but i want to beg you !
i never begged for anything in my life , but i want you to help me ! i'm nothing without you ...

my haeart is like a board that you name hacked there and now nothing can clean it and no one can change it :)

i still dont know myself how i love someone , without knowing her name , without see her face, without touching her hands ,
but i know ... i love you bestrider ...

leave you love ... ?

leave your love , if she/he back by her own , she is yours ! , if not she never was yours from begining :|
its the sentences from William Shakespeare ...


ok its not bad thing but now lets see what will happen if :

imagin there is a boy and girl that they both love each others , they both read this shit from william shakespear , and they left each other to see if he/she really loves them :|
they both wait for other one to back ... they both wait days and knghts ,
and then after few days , i dont wanna even think what will happen for them -.- :/

William shakespeare ! you are really great poet ! lol but i think you are shitted with this words :/

some jokes lol

some jokes that my sister sent me via SMS today xD :

a)the turk guy dreams that he killes his mother in low , when he woke up he sees that she is still alive !
he says : damn i forgot to save !


___________________________________
b)the turk guy says to his foreign wife : I LOVE YOU
wife says : I LOVE YOU TOO
the turk guy says : i LOVE YOU THREE !
wife says : what !?
the turk guy says : kilo wat ! mega wat ! ghabre papat ! , ba man 1 be 2 mikone !

hehe you cant understand second joke if you dont understand farsi xD , and if i translate... it will not joke anymore :P , just wrote this for myself so i will not forget this joke ^^ ,

just ---> "lol "

lol i think these musics effected me xD , i watching Elvis's show , and i wrote a poem or any other stupid thing you can say for it xD ,i just loved Elvis musics ,dances ... i listened a song and changed some words (or more than just some words :P) :


i'm sayin
i'm sayin
ppl let me talk about devil !

i used to cheat
i used to trick
or ever what you think !

i never smoke
i never drink
dont want to be king !

i used to lie ,
i used to be shy !

sitting on my chair
and want this shared

oh its too late
but its so great !

i wanna dance ,
want have some chances !

i love you yea ,
i love you yea ,

forgive everyone , and learn to love yourself then you will love everyone

i remember the movie "rain man" or something i think :)
the old man that had concern and was close to die in few months , said : "forgive people now not when its late ^^ "
i feel so better now , with some blue musics that i'm listening now also :)
you are online with bestrider again lol , you dont really care hehe , i just like this ,
i think you really dont care for anyone in your life :)
even if some one of my friend dont come online or dont talk for few days with me , i think about them , and maybe call em after a while lol to know what happened there ,
and now the one that loves you just suddenly left everything , because you didnt want him to play with you , and you just playing your game , and its like nothing happened lol and there was no someone like deviltabriz xD
yea i think i would be like you if i was instead of you also :) ,
anyway
i need to use to be like this after now ,
i forgive everyone right now ,
i still love you, my family , my friends , and want to be love man ! ^^ not hate man lol

i never can wish a bad thing for you , you know that :)
but maybe i should wish something for you =P :
i hope one day you love someone that he doesnt love you lol and you will understand what i felt all this year xD


who knows :) maybe few days later you will send me a mail lol , or you will just forget me ,
but as i know you you will send it i think ^^ , but cant guess what you will write there , you will get mad ,you will feel sorry, you will say go to hell, or i love you lol , anyway doesnt matter what you will write there, its enough to write something and dont forget :).

yea maybe i dont play wow anymore , maybe i dont go university anymore , maybe completly i'm depressed these days , but
i still love you and i will ^^
i'm not sick , i know i will change this soon or a bit later ,

from one of madonna's clip

without the heart
there can be
no understanding
between the hand
and the mind .

I pissed everything

today i had computer exam in university ,we waited 4 hours in queue ,
after some discuss with my friend i just left there without saying anything, and didn't wait for my queue for the exam ,
i just pissed everything , cant continue like this , my friend keep saying what the hell you are doing to leave university ! why you cant just forget bestrider , why you still wanna go military service and Sweden , you are damn crazy , you can decide about it, she does not like you , and he says that you were my friend but you wanna leave me alone :( ,
i just don't know what to do , I'm upset , what will i do, i cant continue these things,
i wanna go somewhere that no body knows me , i want to become crazy and forgot everything in my life , but i cant forget you , i cant forget my feelings when i thinking about you ,
you will be in my heart always ,
yesterday when i wanted to sleep i thought everything going to be shit, weather was cold and i was shaking but when i thought about you i felt a warm energy in my body between my chest and i got warmer and warmer , i never had that feelings before , it was damn good , i became warmer second by second ,
yea you may dont feel any special feeling about me , but no body will be able to clean my head of thinking about you , even you !

I LOVE YOU BESTRIDER ! I LOVE YOU !

fark var - (there is difference)

this song is so beautiful , that i favorited it on youtube today ,
i wanna sing rap , i loved it :) , now i just wanna translate few sentence of lyric here :

fark var seninle iyi arasinda büyük bir, fark var benimle senin aranda kocaman bir,
fark var kötüyle benim aramda irice bir, fark var iyiyle kötü arasinda duran...

maymunlar cehennemindeyim, hiç kimse duymamis, sordum hiç kimse görmemis ve hiç kimse konusmamis,

burada ben sikildim yaklas bana el ver, eninde sonunda görüsecegiz elbet, simdilik benden bu kadar iyi bu mesafe...

means :
there is big difference ,between you and good , there is important difference ,between you and me,
there is difference ,between me and bad ,there is a difference ,between good and bad distances

I'm in the hell of monkeys , nobody heard it before , i asked it from people ,but no one seen it before and no one talked about it,

   
I'm so bored here ,cmon come here and take my hands ,finally we will meet together ofc !
, its enough for me now , this distance is good !
        

i made this blog for you, to talk with you here , when i cant tell you things ,
after now i will write here just for myself ,
i uploaded my violin practice video on youtube ,
i choosed black and white color , dont know why , i just liked it today , its better than color full video , simple and relax ,

these are just some pictures for you to understand when you known to me on anachronos realm !

hope one day you'll see these :) , i left wow yesterday , maybe this is better ,
nobody in my life made me cry like yesterday , i love you , even if you have a heart of stone ,