please just don't destroy me :)

today , my father take me to his friend that study in turkey for phd or something i think ,
we talked about living ,working and studying in sweden or other European countries ,
he told me so many things that he knew ,
its so long that i can't write them here ,

well , not sure what to do now , but i think i just gonna continue my university ,cos you really hate me i think , you don't understand me bestrider ,
as i said always i will love you forever bestrider ,but i will not be same person,
i will try to use to be alone again :)
why i should leave my everything because of someone that don't even care for chat with me lol .
but its not your fault i know , i dont blame you , you just borne in rich country like sweden ,
you never fall in pain like Asian people or African , you never felt love maybe , you never worried about world, about other people , about anything else yourself ... ,

i will study my lessons ,i will try to be a professional in some jobs , it will take 6 years at least to done both university and military service but its nothing for me , when there is nothing out of my country ,
there is no one that cares for me there ,
but i think i will come sweden after 6 years , just because i promised for myself to meet you , but not as a same savalan that loves to fallow you always :) ,
this is a mad world that we live in it ,

i'm just glory to myself that i love someone ^^ , without knowledge her name,or face,body,family ...


i think that i will not love anyone after this :) ,
well world revolve , sometimes down it up and up is down in this world :)
i will never tell these to you on chats ,cos i don't want you to hurt , but i just wish you fall in love with someone that don't cares for you ... hope you'll love him more than yourself if ya can ,but he'll feel even less than a real friend for you ^^ ,
this is the most terrible thing that i can wish for you , cos i never want to hurt you :)
just want you to feel same that i felt for you ^^ .


well i have 5 days left to decide completly ,
to choos my lessons and study university for 6 years
or just leave it and come looking for my love bestrider in 2 years (after military) ^^
this is just up to you now , if i see you have heart i will do second ,
...


please just don't destroy me :) ,